Monday, September 22, 2008

The All Fat Guy Baseball Team

The All Fat Guy Baseball Team

These are all fat baseball players. The only criteria for this list is you have to be a current MLB player or have played in the past ten years, and you have to be legit fat. No guys that are just "big boned," I am talking guys who one of the first thoughts in your mind is, "Man, that dude is fat."

SP-Sir Sidney Ponson-"Fat Sidney" as he is affectionately known also has a great temperament. He was knighted in Aruba and then punched a judge and is no longer welcome. Also will be featured on our "All Good Guy" jersey list.



SP-David Wells. Boomer is listed at 250 lbs and that is just a blatant lie.



RP-Rich "El Guapo" Garces. So so fat.



RP-Antonio Alfonseca. Even deducting the weight for his sixth finger he still is a fat body.


CP-Bobby Jenks. Ozzie Guillen once signaled to the bullpen for the wide guy instead of the right hander, that is when you know you are fat.



C-Sal Fasano. I'm glad Sal is still kicking it in the big leagues. What he has done for facial hair also is just tremendous.



1b-Dmitri Young. 3 bills.





2B-Ronnie Belliard. Little fat bodies like this are not meant to be middle infielders.


SS-Mike Aviles. 5'9", 195 lbs. And he is not jacked.


RF-Tony Gwynn. It is a great game when fat guys can be hall of famers.



CF-Andruw Jones. He didn't use to be this fat. He also didn't use to be this bad.


LF-Adam Dunn. The Big Donkey. Real big guy who really prides himself on making good consistent contact at the plate.



Honorable Mention-Bengie Molina, Dmitri Young, Mo Vaughn, Miguel Cabrera, Prince Fielder, CC Sabathia, Jonathan Broxton, Cecil Fielder

Please let me know if you think there is a fat guy I left of the Fattest Baseball Team on Earth.

36 comments:

~JB said...

From a Braves fan's perspective, I think you should include Dan Kolb and Bob Wickman on that list.

Good choices though! Entertaining post.


~JB@TheLaunchingPad

Anonymous said...

No fat guy baseball list is complete without Kirby Puckett

Anonymous said...

Puck, for sure.

germex said...

How about Fernando Valenzuela

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed this post. I think these guys deserve honorable mention: Bartolo Colon, Dioner Navarro, Andres Galarraga, Jose Molina

bzeiss said...

You missed a few:

Sid Fernandez
Mickey Lolich
Bartolo Colon

Anonymous said...

fielder

WEDisney said...

How about Prince Fielder

Anonymous said...

Clearly Babe Ruth needs a spot on this list. The man was a world class glutton and baseball player, in the best way possible, of course.

Anonymous said...

Are you kidding me, "I'm not an athlete, I'm a baseball player," John Kruk didn't make the list.

Anonymous said...

How about PUDGE

Alex said...

Prince Fielder should be on this list. Not an honorable mention. Haha. That dude is HUGE.

Anonymous said...

Lee Smith, Bob Stanley, of course David Ortiz

Anonymous said...

Carlos Silva ate the Mariners' farm system.

Anonymous said...

John Kruk

JAKE said...

manny ramirez - not fat in reality, but sure acts like it.

Anonymous said...

You are missing someone on third, and that is an easy spot to catch a chubby kid playing

Anonymous said...

Todd Jones... did you see his fat rolls in the WS in 06?

rich said...

boog powell

greg luzinski

babe ruth

Anonymous said...

Ray King! you can't forget Ray King!

Anonymous said...

David Letterman called Terry Forster (who was a reliever with Atlanta at the time, I believe) a "fat tub of goo." Controversy ensued. Then, Forster went on Letterman and said, "Then I looked at myself in the mirror, and thought, 'You know, he's right.'"

Paul said...

http://deadspin.com/assets/resources/2007/03/jimmygut.jpg

fat jimmy anderson

Anonymous said...

I'm 55,and remember such tubs as my De-
troit Tigers ace lefty Mickey Lolich,
Terry Forster,Lamar Johnson(a gospel sin-
ger who could sing his a** off!!!),Lamar
Hoyt(Cy Young Award,then got fat and became a coke-head),Greg Luzinski,
Joey Meyer(not the DePaul men's basketball
coach who replace his legendary father,
Ray Meyer,but a 6'4'',260-lb.-at least-
Milwaukee Brewers IB in the 80's,Aurelio
Lopez(the late "Senor Smoke",'84 Tigers
World Champions set-up man),and this is but a partial list of lard-a**es I've
observed in 50 years as a baseball fan.

Anonymous said...

Then again,at 55 and 5-10,212 lb.,I'm re-
garded by a lot of the ladies here in
Windsor,Ont.,Can.,as resembling an older,
muscular,beefy black cowboy.

Anonymous said...

Steve "bye-bye" Balboni

Anonymous said...

JOHN KRUK IS HORRIBLE AND DAVID ORTIZ IS NOT FAT, before you make dumb comments do a little reseacrh. Did you know Manny and Ortiz both wear jersey sizes that are 2 sizes too big.

Anonymous said...

John kruk is so stupid and annoying, and shouldnt be allowed to talk on TV anymore. It is embarassing to listen to and i am sorry that his family has to endure that torture. He wasnt good, he played 10 years in bad divisions. The only thing he has ever done well was nurti-system. He once argued that the first baseman was the most athletic position on the baseball field. I instantly shut the TV off and slammed my head in the fridg door. He is only on TV trying to make money because he wasnt good enough to make enough when he played. HE IS AN EMBARASSMENT to Baseball and ESPN.

Anonymous said...

How did Dmitri Young make the main list AND the honorable mention list? Are you that dumb?

Anonymous said...

jesus, he just made a mistake. take it easy pal
entertaining post

Anonymous said...

no Matt Stairs?

TheVoiceofToday said...

Matt Stairs?

Paul said...

what about Sean Casey? He's probably the slowest guy in all of baseball.

Anonymous said...

couple older players
Fat Freddie Fitzsimmons or Hippo Vaughn

Anonymous said...

Check out this guy Walter Young. He plays for the Orioles and he's 322 pounds.

Anonymous said...

your such an idiot its hilarious. u wanna look at fat athletes go look at a football game baseball has what ten, the dallas cowboys probobly have twenty, thats twice as much on one team, you stooge. also, half these guys aren't really fat, Adam Dunn, cmon dudes straight up muscle, you missed a few more. and how dare you say something negative about tony gwynn, he wasn't fat when he played until maybe his last year, a stud, look at his son if you don't think so. idiot.

Anonymous said...

Since you need a 3B, how about Pablo 'Panda' Sandoval?