Better Ways to Spend Charlie Weis's Buyout

It would cost Notre Dame a reported $20 million (some places say less, but didn't give a number for it) to buy Charlie Weis out of his contract. That is just an ass load of money. Below is a list of other things Notre Dame could spend that money on now that they are keeping Charlie that would really help the football program out.

1. Get Charlie liposuction 400 times to have his fupa removed (estimated cost $50,000)

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2. 5 star recruits, Reggie Bush's family allegedly lived in a home for free costing $54,000 a year in rent, which would be $220,000 over four years. Notre Dame could use the money to get 90.9 Reggie Bush's instead of buying fat Charlie out. Even he should be able to win with that talent.

3. Fix his knee. Dude took quite a hit from his own guy and has been hobbling around ever since. And fat men that hobble around are sad sites. Get the guy some surgery. I saw that ACL surgery cost $33,000 with the good cadaver graft too. We could get fat Charlie 606 of those.

4. Or better yet, since even if you replace his knee he will still be fat and unathletic you might as well get him a bionic leg. Cost of one is about $125,000 so we could get Charlie 160 of those guys.

5. Keep a lawyer on retainer for all the alcohol suspensions. It was said that O.J. Simpson's dream team cost $4 million, Notre Dame could get five of those dream teams.

The New Steroids

The NFL is suspending people for taking water pills this week including Deuce McCallister, MLB has gone through the whole steroid era and now home runs are down, and now in Japan apparently you can get in trouble if you take garlic infusion. I figure that all that can really do for you is give you some stanky breath but apparently I am wrong. It makes me wonder how Italians can play soccer at a competitive level if this is what FIFA wants to enforce. Full story here.