Lenny Dykstra Is an Idiot

Doing his best Turk Wendell impersonation, Lenny Dykstra walked out of a Manhattan courthouse after agreeing to a settlement with his former accounting firm. Who ever would have guessed that Lenny Dykstra writes a financial advice column for thestreet.com? Not I. For the full story go here.

Craig Sager's Worst Suits

I am glad Jonathan Papelbon ruined your pumpkin costume.













Eva Longoria does not think that the purple is a good idea.


















That color has only been seen before on isects.















Puke Green is frequently considered fashionable.


















Legit Pimp Suit.



















This would be a great suit for Mark Price if he wanted to do a Keyshawn impression.




















Kevin Garnett making fun of one of Craig Sager's tamer suits



Papelbon ruining Criag Sager's pumpkin suit



Steve Nash using Craig Sager's handkerchied to wipe off Amare Stoudemire

Playoff Observations

1. Robin Yount still has unreal facial hair.

2. Wrigley Field got a new scoreboard. It looks like its HD too.

3. CC is human.

4. Frank TV somehow, someway, still has not been canceled. I have no idea how.

5. Dick Vitale is not cryogenically frozen from April to October and may be the only person to own Devil Rays season tickets since they came into existence.

6. People still think Steve Bartman sucks.

7. Terry Francona may or may not have a tobacco addiction.

8. Shane Victorino may have surpassed Benny Agbayani and Sid Fernandez as the greatest baseball player to hail from Hawaii.

9. The Brewers actually have three guys, CC Sabathia, Prince Fielder, and Seth McClung who could compete to be on the fattest team in baseball.

10. I think if a turtle could speak it would sound like Tony Gwynn

11. Kosuke Fukudome has the worst swing I have ever seen. I have no idea how he was an all star starter other than different funny ways you can butcher his name.

12. Michael Phelps, the so-called Greatest Olympian Ever is doing ads for Rosetta Stone language tapes now. Clearly hearing him speak it is obvious Phelps is not a scholar and not spending his spare time studying languages. This really proves no one cares about swimming outside of that one week every four years.

13. The Cubs will never ever win

14. The secret to winning playoff series might be Japanese second baseman, Kaz Matsui last year, Akinori Iwamura this year

15. The Rays have a quality assurance coach, that sounds like something an insurance company would have

16. The Rays also have a guy that you might remember from Street Fighter

Bad Jerseys of the 90's Cleveland Edition

This is the third in our series of a whole lot. Cleveland really had a ton of really bad players in the 90's which made this very hard. In no particular order, this is what I would consider the best (funniest) jerseys to own or see somebody wearing from the Cleveland teams of the 90's. Be sure to check the other cities in the series so far Baltimore and Montreal. Also be sure to check out our store featuring bad jersyes from Cleveland teams and other shirts like the one to the left. Please leave comments below if there are any you think I forgot.

1. Tim Couch. The number one pick was suppose to be the answer so much so that he was featured on the Drew Carey show as a rookie, but was a huge bust.


2. Alex Cole. He is a shoe in for the all rec specs teams and may also make the all jheri curl team. And certainly a lock for the all heroin team.


3. Craig Ehlo. Better known as that guy from that Jordan highlight that no one has ever seen.



4. Vitaly Potapenko. The "Ukraine Train" never really lived up to his potential for the Cavs. The 12th overall selection in 1996, the five picks after him in the draft were Kobe, Peja Stojakovic, Steve Nash, Tony Delk, and Jermaine O'Neal. But at least later in that first round they landed Big Z.


5. Wil Cordero. Wife Beater Cordero was only with the Tribe for one season in the 90's, but this was after his arrest for domestic violence that made him miss Saturday day games for counseling, and occasional games to go to Puerto Rico for custody hearings. Also put new meaning to the term professional hitter by having a little league arm.


6. Paul Assenmacher. Up here solely because I believe if you say his name enough times fast it will come out as "Ass Smacker."


7. Rashaan Salaam. Real draft bust, but at least he ended his career as the fourth most prolific rusher in XFL history.

8. Benoit Benjamin. Apparently he is an idiot. Something I find funny. I also really respect the double zero.




9. Trajan Langdon. The Alaskan Assassin was drafted by the Cavs in 1999 and has rarely been seen in America since, but was named the EuroLeague Finals MVP last year.


10. Candy Maldonado. I will pay to get him off of Baseball Tonight.

11. Karim Abdul-Jabbar. The original Chad Ocho-Cinco. Got much more attention for his name than for his play. The real Kareem Abdul-Jabbar sued him and won and then he changed his name to Abdul-Karim al-Jabbar.


Honorable Mention: Craig Ehlo, Bernie Kosar, Vinny Testaverde, Koy Detmer, Hot Rod Williams, Carlos Baerga, Paul Sorrento, Junior Ortiz, Felix Fermin, Alvaro Espinoza, Billy Ripken, Heathcliff Slocumb, Albert Belle.

Jerry Manuel and Those Glasses

Isn't it odd to you that Jerry Manuel wears these very trendy glasses? Since Chris Sabo and rec specs have left the game there is really no need for this Jerry. Maybe invest in some contact lenses, or go retro with the flip up glasses, but these trendy glasses Jerry, I can't have this on a baseball field.

Apparently Jerry, you wore them in Chicago too, and they even come in sun shielding form?

But this is the most disturbing part. Pitching coach Dan Warthen is now wearing trendy glasses too. Why is this so disturbing? Because he didn't use to. Did Jerry turn him on to this? Does Jerry think trendy glasses make him feel smarter? Is this causing him a distorted view of the world that makes him think that Aaron Heilman is a good reliever?

BEFORE


AFTER

Bad (Good) Sports Jerseys of the 90's Montreal Edition

This is the second in our series of a whole lot. I don't watch hockey and Montreal does not have other sports teams that count so this is strictly Expos. In no particular order, this is what I would consider the best (funniest) jerseys to own or see somebody wearing from the Expos of the 90's. Be sure to check the first one in the Bad Jersey's of the 90's, the Baltimore Edition. Also be sure to check out our store featuring bad jerseys from these Expos. Please leave comments below if there are any you think I forgot.

1. John Wetteland. Chosen because I believe if you say his name fast enough times you will end up in a magical place called "Wet Titty Land."


2. Delino DeShields. Two reasons. First the double ear flap helmet. Second, little known fact, he is the greatest professional athlete to ever come out of Delaware.


3. Randy Ready. Are you Randy? Are you?



4. F.P. Santangelo. First off is he the only person on earth that goes by F.P.? And he admitted using HGH, but onlyhit 21 career home runs in seven seasons. Maybe he should have gotten some of that Brady Anderson juice, thats what the skinny guys needed. Nice outfit too.


5. Carl Pavano. Remember when he was good, healthy, and not rich? And the tie dyed baseball shirt, impressive.


6. Carlos Perez. The game misses guys like him and Jose Lima.


7. Oil Can Boyd. Greatest name in the history of sports. And look at that delivery.


8. Wilton Guerrero. Always fun to have the obscure brother jersey like Billy Ripken, Mike Maddux, or Ozzie Canseco.


9. Ugueth Urbina. Currently serving a fourteen year prison term in Venezuela for attempted murder.

10. Otis Nixon. Dude loved him some crack.

September 24, 2008

Pete Orr. I hope he thinks that this is a hockey jersey.

Jersey Mugshots

I just found a link to a photo gallery on the Smoking Gun of mugshots of people wearing their favorite teams jersey. Check it out here. At least two of the athlete's whose jerseys appear have mugshots of their own, Javon Kearse and Kobe.

The All Fat Guy Baseball Team

The All Fat Guy Baseball Team

These are all fat baseball players. The only criteria for this list is you have to be a current MLB player or have played in the past ten years, and you have to be legit fat. No guys that are just "big boned," I am talking guys who one of the first thoughts in your mind is, "Man, that dude is fat."

SP-Sir Sidney Ponson-"Fat Sidney" as he is affectionately known also has a great temperament. He was knighted in Aruba and then punched a judge and is no longer welcome. Also will be featured on our "All Good Guy" jersey list.


SP-David Wells. Boomer is listed at 250 lbs and that is just a blatant lie.


RP-Rich "El Guapo" Garces. So so fat.



RP-Antonio Alfonseca. Even deducting the weight for his sixth finger he still is a fat body.


CP-Bobby Jenks. Ozzie Guillen once signaled to the bullpen for the wide guy instead of the right hander, that is when you know you are fat.


C-Sal Fasano. I'm glad Sal is still kicking it in the big leagues. What he has done for facial hair also is just tremendous.



1b-Dmitri Young. 3 bills.




2B-Ronnie Belliard. Little fat bodies like this are not meant to be middle infielders.

SS-Mike Aviles. 5'9", 195 lbs. And he is not jacked.


RF-Tony Gwynn. It is a great game when fat guys can be hall of famers.


CF-Andruw Jones. He didn't use to be this fat. He also didn't use to be this bad.


LF-Adam Dunn. The Big Donkey. Real big guy who really prides himself on making good consistent contact at the plate.



Honorable Mention-Bengie Molina, Dmitri Young, Mo Vaughn, Miguel Cabrera, Prince Fielder, CC Sabathia, Jonathan Broxton, Cecil Fielder

Please let me know if you think there is a fat guy I left of the Fattest Baseball Team on Earth.

September 19, 2008

Vinny Castilla. He was good as a Rockie, but certainly not good as a National. Then again who really is good as a National?

September 18, 2008

Zach Day. So you had a bad day (read career), your taking one down (read your sinker was terrible and was taken out more often than not), you sing a sad song just to turn it around (read or you retire). (Found at Nationals Park)

Bad Jerseys of the 90's Baltimore Edition

These are what I would consider the ten funniest jerseys to see a random person wearing from Baltimore sports teams in the 1990's. This is completely biased on what I would think would be the funniest to see, but I welcome your suggestions as always. The list is in no particular order. (If only Elvis Grbac had been in Baltimore in the 1990's he would certainly be number one) If anybody owns these jerseys please send the pictures along and you should know I may not wear that jersey but I really respect you for doing it.

1. Albert "Don't Call me Joey" Belle. He really was worth that $65 million deal he got from the Orioles and in general was just a great guy. He also was very nice to kids on Halloween.


2. Jeff Reboulet. You really have to love a man that will go out and sport a jersey of a career utility man who was never really any good at all.


3. Vinny Testaverde. He was old when he started every game at quarterback in the Ravens inaugural season in 1996, now he is just really freaking old.


4. Bam Morris. Cut by the Steelers after getting arrested and promptly spent two years full of suspensions and trouble with the law in Baltimore. You may have seen the story of his life on the big screen, The Longest Yard.


5. Chris Sabo. Nobody wore rec specs with more style than Chris Sabo.


6. Brady Anderson. George Mitchell can consider his report incomplete because Brady Anderson was not listed. He hit 16 home runs in 1995, 50 in 1996, and 18 in 1997. He also had unbelieable sudeburns. And my favorite is that he picks up chicks online and texts them pictures of his abs.



7. Tony Tarasco. Most famous for being the guy that Jeffrey Maier took the ball away from in the 1996 ALCS. Way to make your mark on the league Tony.


8. Roberto Alomar. Role Model.


9. Mike Bordick. The chosen man to take over for Cal Ripken. The team chose the successor to the Iron Man real well and that decision was the first in a long line that led to a decade of being a model franchise. Not.




10. Sir Sidney Ponson. This would have to be size XXXL to be realistic though. And of course you would have to be a drunken jerk.

Top Japanese Baseball Jerseys to Own

These are what I would consider the funniest jerseys to see a random person wearing from a Japanese baseball team. This is completely biased on what I would think would be the funniest to see, but I welcome your suggestions as always. The list is in no particular order. If anybody owns these jerseys please send the pictures along and you should know I may not wear that jersey, but I really respect you for doing it.

1. Tuffy Rhodes. Hit three home runs on Opening Day for the Cubs in 1993, appeared to be the second coming of Andre Dawson in Chicago, and promptly fell off the face of the earth.


2. Benny Agbayani. The Hawaiian Punch. Really had a good fan following in New York. Too bad he was not very good at baseball.


3. Kei Igawa. Remember when he was good? No, you probably don't because that wasn't in America. (And look at that hair)


4. Alex Ochoa. Oh thats where he went.



5. Tony Batista. Just because of that stance.


6. Matt Franco. Poor guy only has 22 career home runs and still gets named in the Mitchell Report.


7. Tsuyoshi Shinjo. If I could see his jersey in Japan I would have a good chance at guessing what color the matching sweatbands would be.


8. Hideki Irabu. Ira-Boo-Ya. What a bust he was. Very mediocre career for the fat pussy toad. He was once trade with Homer Bush for Ruben Rivera, three enormous busts in one trade is pretty impressive. Apparently he loves to get wasted too.




9. Hideo Nomo. Honestly how can you not love Nomo? The tornado really took this country by storm teaching kids all over the nation the worst pitching mechanics known to man kind. Poor guy even got cut by the Royals this spring.

September 12, 2008

Kaz Matsui

Terrible player for the Mets. Some how a good player for the Rockies. For some reason the Astros decided to pay him for it and he went on the DL with an anal fissure. I guess the only thing that could have topped this would have been a Shinjo jersey complete with orange sweatbands (Found on street in Brooklyn)