Plax is an Idiot

What the mainstream media does not seem to be picking up on is that Plaxico Burress is facing serious mandatory jail time for possession of a gun. New York State has very tough gun laws and the minimum mandatory sentence is 42 months for possession of an illegal handgun. Although, he would not have to serve all of that time that still means that he would be looking at at least 2 years or so. That's a lot of time. Full article here.

Lenny Dykstra Is an Idiot

Doing his best Turk Wendell impersonation, Lenny Dykstra walked out of a Manhattan courthouse after agreeing to a settlement with his former accounting firm. Who ever would have guessed that Lenny Dykstra writes a financial advice column for thestreet.com? Not I. For the full story go here.

Jerry Manuel and Those Glasses

Isn't it odd to you that Jerry Manuel wears these very trendy glasses? Since Chris Sabo and rec specs have left the game there is really no need for this Jerry. Maybe invest in some contact lenses, or go retro with the flip up glasses, but these trendy glasses Jerry, I can't have this on a baseball field.

Apparently Jerry, you wore them in Chicago too, and they even come in sun shielding form?

But this is the most disturbing part. Pitching coach Dan Warthen is now wearing trendy glasses too. Why is this so disturbing? Because he didn't use to. Did Jerry turn him on to this? Does Jerry think trendy glasses make him feel smarter? Is this causing him a distorted view of the world that makes him think that Aaron Heilman is a good reliever?

BEFORE


AFTER

The All Fat Guy Baseball Team

The All Fat Guy Baseball Team

These are all fat baseball players. The only criteria for this list is you have to be a current MLB player or have played in the past ten years, and you have to be legit fat. No guys that are just "big boned," I am talking guys who one of the first thoughts in your mind is, "Man, that dude is fat."

SP-Sir Sidney Ponson-"Fat Sidney" as he is affectionately known also has a great temperament. He was knighted in Aruba and then punched a judge and is no longer welcome. Also will be featured on our "All Good Guy" jersey list.


SP-David Wells. Boomer is listed at 250 lbs and that is just a blatant lie.


RP-Rich "El Guapo" Garces. So so fat.



RP-Antonio Alfonseca. Even deducting the weight for his sixth finger he still is a fat body.


CP-Bobby Jenks. Ozzie Guillen once signaled to the bullpen for the wide guy instead of the right hander, that is when you know you are fat.


C-Sal Fasano. I'm glad Sal is still kicking it in the big leagues. What he has done for facial hair also is just tremendous.



1b-Dmitri Young. 3 bills.




2B-Ronnie Belliard. Little fat bodies like this are not meant to be middle infielders.

SS-Mike Aviles. 5'9", 195 lbs. And he is not jacked.


RF-Tony Gwynn. It is a great game when fat guys can be hall of famers.


CF-Andruw Jones. He didn't use to be this fat. He also didn't use to be this bad.


LF-Adam Dunn. The Big Donkey. Real big guy who really prides himself on making good consistent contact at the plate.



Honorable Mention-Bengie Molina, Dmitri Young, Mo Vaughn, Miguel Cabrera, Prince Fielder, CC Sabathia, Jonathan Broxton, Cecil Fielder

Please let me know if you think there is a fat guy I left of the Fattest Baseball Team on Earth.

September 16, 2008

Lavar Arrington.

So much potential, but was never really much of anything in the NFL other than ending Troy Aikman's career. Signed a seven year contract with the Giants and ended up playing seven games with them. He is also the only person on earth man enough to date Serena Williams.

Top Japanese Baseball Jerseys to Own

These are what I would consider the funniest jerseys to see a random person wearing from a Japanese baseball team. This is completely biased on what I would think would be the funniest to see, but I welcome your suggestions as always. The list is in no particular order. If anybody owns these jerseys please send the pictures along and you should know I may not wear that jersey, but I really respect you for doing it.

1. Tuffy Rhodes. Hit three home runs on Opening Day for the Cubs in 1993, appeared to be the second coming of Andre Dawson in Chicago, and promptly fell off the face of the earth.


2. Benny Agbayani. The Hawaiian Punch. Really had a good fan following in New York. Too bad he was not very good at baseball.


3. Kei Igawa. Remember when he was good? No, you probably don't because that wasn't in America. (And look at that hair)


4. Alex Ochoa. Oh thats where he went.



5. Tony Batista. Just because of that stance.


6. Matt Franco. Poor guy only has 22 career home runs and still gets named in the Mitchell Report.


7. Tsuyoshi Shinjo. If I could see his jersey in Japan I would have a good chance at guessing what color the matching sweatbands would be.


8. Hideki Irabu. Ira-Boo-Ya. What a bust he was. Very mediocre career for the fat pussy toad. He was once trade with Homer Bush for Ruben Rivera, three enormous busts in one trade is pretty impressive. Apparently he loves to get wasted too.




9. Hideo Nomo. Honestly how can you not love Nomo? The tornado really took this country by storm teaching kids all over the nation the worst pitching mechanics known to man kind. Poor guy even got cut by the Royals this spring.

September 12, 2008

Kaz Matsui

Terrible player for the Mets. Some how a good player for the Rockies. For some reason the Astros decided to pay him for it and he went on the DL with an anal fissure. I guess the only thing that could have topped this would have been a Shinjo jersey complete with orange sweatbands (Found on street in Brooklyn)